Wait What?... a blog by heather: Grandma Kirkham

My Grandmother Marian Kirkham passed away about one year ago on October 8, 2011. A few months prior to her passing I got a phone call from my mother telling me that grandma had terminal cancer with only a few months to live. This was a shock to me because grandma had always taken such good care of herself: She was active, like a busy bee flitting from one thing to the next, she ate healthy foods, and always was reading up on the latest, most beneficial health fads. But unfortunately she had ignored some signs of ill health for too long and when she went to the doctor it was too late.

After receiving the news that my grandma would soon be joining my grandfather in heaven I booked a flight out to California to see her one last time, taking Molly with me. On their first meet, after studying grandma for a few serious minutes, Molly gave grandma a dazzling smile. It was a wonderful reunion for me and I am so happy grandma got to meet Molly before she left this world. I am also glad that I got to say goodbye to my dear grandmother one last time.

Some things I will always remember about grandma is that she was always sweet. Always. I don't remember her ever being mean to any of her grandchildren. She always looked beautiful, with her hair neatly curled and pinned, and her clothes surprisingly stylish for a grandmother. She had a huge closet that we liked to raid every now and then...grandma never threw anything away.

She made the best cinnamon toast. And when I was a girl I loved when she made me egg-on-toast too, she had a special seasoning she sprinkled on top that made it soooo yummy! She always had gum and was happy to let Amber and me get some from her alcove (I don't know what else to call the little passage in her North Hollywood home that my grandfather built which hid the laundry machines). I'm not sure that I can remember grandma saying "no" to anything we asked for.

I remember homemade cookies waiting for us when we arrived after the three hour drive to Big Bear. And I can clearly recall her unique giggle-laugh which ended in a high sqeek that I sometimes hear reflected in my own voice when I laugh.

Her home was decorated with her artwork and she gave me my first set of oil paints. She also framed a picture of flowers that I made for her with an ornate gold frame and put it at the top of the stairs as if it had a right to be amongst her other beautiful pieces of art that were displayed around her home. I like to believe that any artistic ability I find inside me came from her. She was the perfect grandma and I miss her, but I know I can see her again one day.

Here are some pictures from her life:

Marian Louise Krause Kirkham was born on April 6, 1925

Grandma and Grandpa met in 1943 and were instantly drawn to one another. It didnt take long for them to fall in love. While grandpa was away serving in the war they wrote adorable letters to one another calling each other "darling" and "sweet heart" and other such endearments as they professed their enduring love.

Grandma and grandpa were married on May 13, 1945 and honeymooned in Big Bear. Later on in life they were able to build a large and gorgeous home on Big Bear Lake. So many of my memories of grandma and grandpa take place in Big Bear. When grandpa's health began to decline they sold the Big Bear house and moved to Canyon Country. My grandmother lovingly and patiently cared for grandpa until his passing in 2009.

Grandma and grandpa had four daughters: Pam, Karen, Deborah and Joan.

Grandma has a beautiful smile. When I was a little girl I used to call her "mom" because that is what my mommy called her. Now she is "Grandma." When Gabe was little we called her "Big Bear Grandma."